Unbearably Light
I do not think that word means what you think it means.

Bookface

So yeah my Dad just superpoked me.

(If you don’t know what that means, I offer you my congratulations and I urge you to go back to your pre-facebookion life and get as much work done as you can before you eventually and inevitably succumb.)

He rang me up a few weeks ago to inform me about this new brilliant previously unknown website he had just discovered that you could join and meet people you know on, and how amazing and ground-breaking it was and how he just thought that I should probably be told about such things because I work in computers and I should really keep up to date on the latest trends. It took me about ten minutes to realise he was talking about Facebook. I gently let him know that I had vaguely of heard of it alright, and before I knew it, he had found me out and added me to his profile along with a picture of him from 30 years ago. Apparently it was the only one he had handy. Heh.

Darn it. This has already happened to me on Bebo of all places. Oh yes, my mother is on my Bebo friends list. As are a whole heap of my internet-savvy extended family. Most of the time this doesn’t bother me a bit, but facebook needs careful monitoring.

A little bit of “lets block Dad seeing that photo, oh and that one, and oh my God let’s decide not to change my status whilst drunk”. Also, a few little texts and phone calls consisting of pleas along the lines of “Dad would you mind *terribly* taking down the family through the years picture album?”

An extended list of family, friends, work colleagues, and ex “it’s complicated” types makes for an uncomfortable mix.

While we’re on it, how do you politely remove an ex from your friends list? Or do you just put up with their daily status updates? Make sure your own status updates don’t appear to be passive aggressive responses? Decline an invitation from your boss gracefully? Keep separate profiles for work, friends, family, etc?

It’s a minefield.

And apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks so. How much should we censor ourselves when everyone else is listening?

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5 Responses to “Bookface”

  1. Great post, and bookface sums it up. You probably know that you can just remove people from your friends list and they don’t get notified, when they do twig, just bookface and blame the internet (it can take it)
    I don’t think I could do that to my Dad though, I’m guilty even thinking it and he doesn’t even know facebook exists!
    Checking exes is cool, and snickering that they don’t even have the gumption to make their profiles private, love it!

  2. This is the exact reason why sites like moli.com have started up. It allows you to have different version of yourself and then you assign your friends to which side of you that you want them to see e.g – College, Work, Friends etc,.

    I pretty much accidentally came out to my extended family because two of my uncles joined Bebo. Bad buzz!

  3. a mam and aunt of mine joined me… in fact a load of stranges have tried to add me, i have about ten pending friend requests, i figure if i ignore them they’ll go away!

  4. and i JUST got the name of this post!

  5. Sorry folks was away there for a while.

    @ Sarah: Yeah I don’t have the heart to block my Dad either, thankfully I think he has sailed through his facebook stage now and is currently totally obsessed with google earth. I’m slightly less disturbed by him following me from above!

    @ Sinéad: Must check out Moli.com, thanks, it sounds like a good premise. Ouch re: outing yourself, I’m fairly concious of doing that too when it comes to extended family and work people, it’s a delicate process coming out at the best of times, never mind when it’s through your relationship status message on bebo!

    @Orpee: I keep getting randomers adding me too! Especially people who worked in my last company (I’m still in the group on facebook) who I never actually met or corresponded with. I don’t understand it, since there are about 2000 people in the group – what are they going to do, add them all?!


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